Saturday, February 12, 2011


I worked a ten-hour shift today. It was hard to get through. Ever work in a place where everyone is so happy and in love everywhere you look, while you're nursing the hurt of a breakup? In small ways, I was happy for the brides-to-be. Really. But mostly, a lot of what I felt was jealousy. Jealous that they'd found the loves of their lives, that they were in such an exciting state of mind. I don't feel as if I really need someone to be happy, but when you've got a freshly-hurt heart, it really makes you wonder if you'll ever get to that point in your life.

I love that a lot of my friends feel they can come to me and vent about their problems, that they feel they can confide in me. I really do. It makes me feel great to help them. But when I'm hurting just as much as they are, I feel pretty useless. I try to stop thinking about my own hurt in order to help them. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. Today is not one of the good days.

In more positive news, I have tentative plans to go to Iowa City for my birthday next week. I do have to work till 3 or 4, but then I'm off to dinner with my girls at Brown Bottle and then out for drinks. Then on Sunday, I'm going shopping with my mom and sister. I really can't wait. I've missed everybody mentioned so, so much. I really want to move to Iowa City/Coralville/North Liberty/whatever in the worst way so that I can actually see them more often. Des Moines is great, but I don't feel as if I have any true friends here, except for RJ.

Merf. I suppose I should make some dinner and chillax.

1 comment:

  1. You're right - a lot of guys DO suck, but you don't HAVE to be with someone to be someone. LOTS of people love you. Give it some time & concentrate on school. Your dad & I didn't meet until I was 25 & he was 29, so don't be in a rush to find Mr. Right. I can't wait to see you & Becca on Sunday. Mommy loves you!